piemancer: (Default)
[personal profile] piemancer posting in [community profile] giraffesanctuary
I think it was Marshall Rosenberg who said that he wanted his friends to be flowers for his table, and not air for his lungs.  

Susan Skye recently began a lecture about needs by pointing out that needs can come from a "life serving energy" (I assume these are the needs that are like flowers for your table) or they can be survival needs that are fear based (these would be the "air for your lungs") needs. 

Right off the bat, I knew that was something for me to think about at Giraffe Sancutary. 


Date: 2012-07-24 07:01 pm (UTC)
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
From: [personal profile] sonia
Interesting food for thought, thanks!

When I hear, "survival needs that are fear based," I hear an underlying message that if only we weren't afraid, those needs would change into the preferable flowery kind. Since you have more context, do you think that message was there?

In my internal language, flowers for the table aren't any kind of need, or don't serve any needs for me. They make my nose itch and block my view of people on the other side! Even if I think of them as pretty, that's not a "need" in my language, it's a "nice to have."

I hear in the statement about friends an elevation of self-sufficiency and deprecation of needs that surprises me in NVC. Obviously I have a lot to learn!

Date: 2012-07-24 09:53 pm (UTC)
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
From: [personal profile] sonia
Thanks for clarifying. Any particular friend might provide a strategy to meet a friendship need. The friend is optional. The need is not.

anyone who thinks they won't crawl on someone else's shoulders to get their head above water when they need air is wrong.
Great visceral image! Er, your image meets my need for vivid clarity and expressiveness? I've gained awareness lately that compliments are still judgments and get tongue-tied around that.

Date: 2012-07-24 11:28 pm (UTC)
laughingrat: A detail of leaping rats from an original movie poster for the first film of Nosferatu (Default)
From: [personal profile] laughingrat
That is pretty wise.

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giraffesanctuary: a close up of a giraffe face. Blue sky and green hill is visible behind. (Default)
A giraffe sanctuary where your jackal is safe.

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